Ok, I am old. At the age of 41 and 12 years in the industry I realize that the new generation of wannabe starlets find me to be outdated, washed up and matured. Of course, that comes with a wet behind the ears mentality and fresh titty milk on the mouth attitude that has yet to live, learn and experience the world let a long the adult industry.
I had my days at the top of what was and STILL is the foundation of BBW porn. I didn't have to star in 100 dvd's or work for all of the top companies. I didn't have to be on the cover of every title or be nominated for every award that acknowledges BBW's. All I had to do was stay TRUE to myself, do what makes ME comfortable and happy and work hard for the things I wanted. I have accomplished more than I ever thought possible and I am proud of that!
It came with sacrifices, risks, trials, tribulations, and a lot of crazy drama! One thing that definitely took me entirely too long to figure out or at least find a way to remove it from my life was keeping my circle tight. My eagerness to help those who didn't want or was unwilling to help themselves consumed my life and threatened my business' success over and over again. I learned a lot through those situations but some I had to learn more than once! ::INSERT FACE PALM::
To fans, being surrounded by all of the industries top models is appealing and cool. Little do they know the truth behind the side effects and long term damages caused. On the outside, you see the fun in adult entertainment. Many people are afraid to show the REAL deal behind the scenes and the way most of these girls are. When you have been going through unnecessary social media attacks & drama the last thing you want to do is mention them or talk about it because it just starts the drama all over again or perpetuates it. So, the public, the fans and other industry people are unaware of the "truth."
I couldn't be happier with my new way of doing things and with that came disconnecting from virtually everyone. Having a small group of people you converse with, share with, and ultimately work with makes things so much simpler and less dramatic or complicated. Many ask me why I don't hang out with this person anymore or that person. It would appear as if I had been ostracized from the popularity club. Frankly, I chose to remove myself and eliminate myself from the equation. I wished I had done it sooner.
BBW's are some of the most miserable women on the face of the planet and the adult industry is the hub of hateful envy, mean girls and self entitled fake activists who claim to be victims of everything you can think of. Now now now, don't go getting your panties in a bunch and think that I am calling all the girls attention seekers for "claiming" to have been a victim, because that is definitely not the case. I am simply saying that there are many girls in the business who clearly use false accounts of incidents as beacons for attention and excuse their behavior of being a bully with their past.
Let me be perfectly clear on this, THERE IS NEVER A REASON TO BE MEAN TO ANYONE.
This brings me to my point for this blog post. The current state of the BBW genre within the adult industry. Although I would love to bask in the ambiance of gratitude for the immense strides we have made as a member of the adult entertainment industry, unfortunately, I am appalled at the ratchet behavior that "adults" have represented. It saddens me that our efforts are in vain as we gain momentum and popularity, our opportunities become less and far between. The self entitlement that BBW's HAVE to be included in awards shows, conventions and other events is unwarranted. The public displays of discontent and temper tantrums only reveal to the world and industry lack of self respect.
The lack of professionalism and true dedication to producing, managing and selling quality content and maintaining the industry standards is an anchor that stunts our growth, Bickering online and social media lack of responsible are a plague for the true disdain the industry has developed for plus sized performers. When I see girls complaining I think "Wow, THIS is why they won't work with us!" When they see us complaining, it's definitely not perceived in a positive way at all.
It angers me to have worked SO hard with others to make the changes we all desire for a more positive experience for our women in this business and there is NO appreciation. The competition to be the best hasn't been about improving your product or representing the best business model. It's all about a status and what is perceived by the public. Who has more followers on twitter or other social media platforms has been criteria that defines a top performer.
What's more sickening is the length's that I have seen girls go to to destroy each other instead of putting that energy and time into improving themselves and their product. For some, they will stop at nothing to reveal personal information, putting the performer and the performers family in danger. For those of us who live our lives virtually in front of the camera, our private information is all we have! If that same time and energy were invested in their products, they would be making money instead of enemies and flooding our time lines with toxic waste.
The state of BBW is code red and definitely in need of some damage control. I hope someone POSITIVE comes along with as much passion as I once had and turns this state of true disgrace around. I suppose the state of BBW is a true representation of how many feel about the presidency at the moment. I concur that it's definitely in shambles and we are days away from crashing & burning.
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