Fuck the bullshit! I REFUSE to keep my mouth shut at this point. It's been a known fact that I have fallen out with people in the industry. It happens. Everyone has their own agenda and mistakes are made. It's called LIFE. Things come up and porn has to fall back burner to families, children, life issues that HAVE to be dealt with first and foremost. Some of these issues don't come with warning. I can admit, I have made some mistakes in the past and don't fault those who choose not to deal with me as a result. HOWEVER, I don't pass a bad reputation to potential work in the industry either. Unless you have done some down right dirty shit to someone, then perhaps I might spread a warning but all in all it's not my place to cock block or keep you from getting that money.
It's been brought to my attention that this kind of "word" has spread. At first I didn't let it bother me because I considered it "hater-aid" and didn't want to give it any air play. Now I find out that several perspective business relationships and deals have been adversely effected by such "bad mouthing." I'M PISSED.
I don't feel it necessary to explain myself to ANYONE in the industry. If I PLAN to go some where or ATTEMPT to visit a specific area to shoot or see clients, then by all means my intentions are sincere. However, if I CAN'T make it, whether it be a family issue (I do have a family I am responsible for and Lord knows if I didn't handle my responsibilities you'd be trashing me about that...) or financial issues - then you just have to understand. PERIOD. Unless YOU pay for my trip, and THEN I don't show up - then I can imagine where you would be upset and have every right to pass a bad review on my behalf if it was not handled correctly. IF I was responsible for paying for my OWN trip, and then you get to meet me, shoot with me, be with me AT MY CONVENIENCE. If something comes up, don't take it personal and act like a little bitch. If you feel I owe you something then approach me like an adult. How the fuck you going to tell someone I handled it wrong, and you EQUALLY mis-managed the situation as well. I don't expect you to be concerned for my well being, but what the fuck good am I to shoot if I am sick? Do you really want me there if I am unable to shoot? I mean let's be real... I want to shoot JUST as bad as you do. My inability to make it isn't from insincere intentions simply life altering obstacles that forced me to choose.
Furthermore, for those that I did truly and honestly make a mistake - I can apologize and be the better person. EVEN if you fail to stay in contact with me, and refuse to do any further work with me that's cool. I ain't mad at you for that.
All I can say to close this, is that I don't INTEND to do things, say things or engage in things that result in someone being HURT, DISAPPOINTED, LET DOWN, ANGRY, UPSET, etc. or the alike. I ain't no punk now LOL But I'm not the kind of person who gets her rocks off on getting over on people. I have a concious, and I try to do the right thing in all situations. I am human, and learning the business every day just like everyone else. If you REALLY have an issue with me, take it up with me. If we can't work it out, then fine - I be that bitch and leave it at that. I give my best, and if that's not good enough then so be it. I leave with saying, do unto others as you'd have done to you. I bet money that if someone said about you what you said about me - and cost you $$ you would have handled this alot worse than I and probably sooner. It is what it is.