Thursday, September 10, 2009

About me, breaking it down.

A moment to release and reflect. Before you make any preconceived notions on who you think I am, allow me to tell you about myself.

First and foremost, I don't do things with "ILL" intentions. I am not faultless, but if something doesn't go down the way I had hoped... it's because I have probably made a mistake NOT because I intend to do anyone dirty. ~~ so let that clear up any false rumors. I am guilty of being TOO nice. I don't LIKE drama, and don't enjoy being at odds with someone. I don't like beefin' although in this industry it happens alot. I try not to be catty, but as women with a ton of emotions - it happens. I want to help everyone, and in doing so often cut myself short. I don't ask for anything in most cases. Sometimes I take things personal, and read into things wrongfully. I am human, what can I say? Don't get it wrong, I do have a mean bone in me that when prompted will emerge and reek havak, but I try to keep that from happening as the end result leads to unnecessary pain and retaliation. I will do everything in my power to right a wrong if I am aware that I have done so. I can be unorganized at times and try to put my hand into too many projects. My mind races alot faster than I can keep up. I get a ton of ideas and have a hard time following up on them. I feel guilty when I start things and not finish them. I have INTERNET A.D.D. ~~ easily distracted! LOL I am passionate about everything I do, the people I love and care about. I try to do the right thing. Sometimes I say things I don't mean, and hurt someone anyways.

I think with everyday a changing emotional rollercoaster, that I am entirele far more sensitive than I would like to admit. I am trying to figure out what's going on with some uncertain relationships in my life, and deal with some emotions in a different more positive way. Life is a process, I am who I am. I don't try to be someone I am not, sometimes I try on something that simply doesn't fit. I want to explore different things but without the right guidance I find myself lost. It happens. If I didn't realize I made a mistake, how can I be expected to fix it? I want to do what's right, and I want to face things I have done wrong. Easy or not, it's the only way I can put it behind me. Silence isn't golden when it masks the real problem. If you never let someone know how you feel, you can't expect them to respect your feelings.

That's all I have to say about that.

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