An interesting conversation came about today with someone I've been chopping it up with on twitter... we are working on some plans to do shoots in the near future and he may just be my very first white cock. As we discussed "my size" in comparison to the other models he has worked with or simply had relations with personally I made it VERY clear that I am comfortable with myself, and my fatness. Yes, I said it FAT! Come on... let's just put it out there. When you use a word to describe someone bigger than normal you use the word FAT. The plus size community may send me hate mail for this but what the fuck, they hate me anyways because I'm a whore and I do porn AND my name is VULGAR, so since when do I give a fuck what a 2faced judgemental self criticising community has to say about me? I don't. I am who I am and I love who I am so no changes from me.
Why am I confident?
Because there was a day I wasn't, and I remember how MISERABLE I was. I remember the days of crying because I thought I looked SO fat and ugly and would NEVER have a man to love me. I was 60lbs lighter then!! Imagine that now... Shit. One day, someone said if you ever want to be happy, you have to start with the person in the mirror. You have to learn to be grateful for the things you have instead of mourning for what you don't. You have decide to be happy, and make decisions in your attitude that reflect a HAPPY person. I changed my whole perspective on life, took on happiness as the biggest challenge of my life and went POSITIVE like a mofo. It's tough sometimes. The true testimony is fighting depression, because IT HAPPENS. But you can't let it take over your life. I have no more than a week of self pity and dark days before I kick it in the butt and get myself back on my feet and in the sun again. Confidence comes from accepting who you are, and who you want to be. NOT dwelling on who you've been. Take it by the horns, and be the kind of person you want to meet in life. Stop worrying on what other people think of you. More often than not they don't feel very good about themselves, and they will project that on their feelings towards you. Trust me, I still fight with this because I try VERY hard to be a good friend, and a good person. Naturally when you fall out with someone they attack the very things they know will break you down. Don't let it.
How does doing porn effect my everyday life?
Geez, it has it's ups and it's downs. Being from a city that is VERY much the bible belt of the south, it's VERY difficult. Judgement comes from people who PREACH not to judge. But, as taking on the confidence of my size and years of dating outside my race (my whole life actually) AND being an overweight person - these situations and battles have helped me gain the strength to simply not give a shit. My parents know, my friends know and now most of the community knows. There is NOTHING to hide. It's what I do, not who I am. A part of me is in my work and my "alter ego" but there is a side to me totally unconnected to my Platinum Puzzy persona. It has it's moments. TRUST THAT. From wanting to make sure you are doing things within the law, to dealing with catty bitches in the industry who simply become haters and want to conduct themselves as such. I take on each day as a new one, learning as much as possible and trying to be as productive as possible.
Does being an amateur webmodel/actress differ from being a dvd star?
Indeed it does. Does it make me LESS of a pornstar? ABSOLUTELY not. Porn doesn't JUST mean mainstream, it's THE EROTIC ART OF SEX ON FILM. <<>> I said it. Do I take credit AWAY from dvd models? Not at all. However, amateur webmodels/actresses have their work cut out for them and know the struggle of the PROCESS involved in this business. From the very birth of a project to the final cut, we are usually a part of ever intricate detail in creation and delivery. From branding yourself to networking, promoting, editing... it's definitely ALOT of work. A dvd model shows up, fucks, gets paid and goes home. Her name is made and branded by the companies she works for. An amateur model has to make the name herself. Alot of people don't know that, and don't recognize the hard work and our own personal money that goes into our projects. It can be VERY time consuming and hard work.
Geez, it has it's ups and it's downs. Being from a city that is VERY much the bible belt of the south, it's VERY difficult. Judgement comes from people who PREACH not to judge. But, as taking on the confidence of my size and years of dating outside my race (my whole life actually) AND being an overweight person - these situations and battles have helped me gain the strength to simply not give a shit. My parents know, my friends know and now most of the community knows. There is NOTHING to hide. It's what I do, not who I am. A part of me is in my work and my "alter ego" but there is a side to me totally unconnected to my Platinum Puzzy persona. It has it's moments. TRUST THAT. From wanting to make sure you are doing things within the law, to dealing with catty bitches in the industry who simply become haters and want to conduct themselves as such. I take on each day as a new one, learning as much as possible and trying to be as productive as possible.
Does being an amateur webmodel/actress differ from being a dvd star?
Indeed it does. Does it make me LESS of a pornstar? ABSOLUTELY not. Porn doesn't JUST mean mainstream, it's THE EROTIC ART OF SEX ON FILM. <<>> I said it. Do I take credit AWAY from dvd models? Not at all. However, amateur webmodels/actresses have their work cut out for them and know the struggle of the PROCESS involved in this business. From the very birth of a project to the final cut, we are usually a part of ever intricate detail in creation and delivery. From branding yourself to networking, promoting, editing... it's definitely ALOT of work. A dvd model shows up, fucks, gets paid and goes home. Her name is made and branded by the companies she works for. An amateur model has to make the name herself. Alot of people don't know that, and don't recognize the hard work and our own personal money that goes into our projects. It can be VERY time consuming and hard work.
Do you Only work with black cocks?
It would appear that way but such is not the case. I have been looking for reliable Caucasian stunt cock for years. I've searched, set up scenes, and traveled all over the country to find myself unsuccessful. I have been waiting for an opportunity to show my diversity with the type of men I like. I am diverse in my personality, why stop with my sexuality?
As you can see I have dedicated myself to getting back to blogging, and answering the questions you want to ask. This will conclude today's episode... time to get ready for the Halloween bash tonight! Have a safe Halloween!
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