Thursday, May 5, 2011

When bullying goes too far... it's not just a teenager issue.


Although the young lady in the above referenced news story is a teenager, the dilemma of being bullied is not reserved to just teenager. In fact, it happens with adults just as much with the explosion of social network sites and text messaging, bullying can be done from the comfort of your own home.

Even more disturbing, bullying happens in the ADULT industry. Yes, a surprise I know but it happens a lot especially amongst the plus sized models. Maybe it happens just as much elsewhere but my experience is limited to mostly the bbw community so I speak from observation in that forum.

The fact is, bullying is unnecessary. You don't know what's going on in someone's personal life. You have NO idea what kind of mental instabilities this person may have. What if YOUR bullying and abuse lead to the suicide of one of your peers? Face it, what you say has far more effect on others than you think. As much as everyone pretends to be such hard asses, reality is we are all people with real feelings. It takes tough skin to make it in this business, that's common knowledge, however, you also have to be held accountable for your own actions.

Now in my personal opinion, and I have been known to spout out some unnecessary comments that shouldn't have made the internet, but I am referring to people who use the public forum to verbally assault and massacre their competition. Whether it be from a personal fall out, or from simple dislike it's truly unprofessional and unattractive. I wish people took as much time to filter what they say and consider the need and consequences before letting it slip off their tongue or fingers. Unfortunately, it's common to see online attacks go back and forth with personal details of one's life exposed and harsh insults intended to scar the person it which it's directed.

What's the point? What do you get out of it? Especially when a lot of you end up apologizing? Maybe I have learned to deal with my anger differently over the years, as I am sure I had my moments where I let any and everything slip off my tongue. Maybe I have just come to a peaceful place in my life where I am more controlled in how I deal with my feelings and express them to the public. I don't deny my past, but I can say this... what am I seeing is disturbing.

Essentially, what you say tells more about you than the person you are talking about. Think about what you say and the damage it does. If it's necessary, or provoked consider the consequences. I've learned that the best way to piss someone off and get a deeper message across is to ignore them. It sounds juvenile but no more juvenile than name calling and trash talking. Think about it.

:::Positive things come from positive speakers::: The power of a word is the power that you give it. Take away power from words that negatively effect you. Like the word FAT. When someone says it just smile and say "Why yes, I can afford to be fat" Or something that makes them think about what they said and inevitably in most cases regret having even opened their mouth. Give power to the positive. Do this test for me, start saying hi to people with a smile and watch the reaction. Before you know it you will be smiling all the time without a reason and people will smile back. Food for thought.

Til next time keep it positive.

1 comment:

LoveSickAboutThick said...

Thank you for this story. It really hits home for me. All I want is to walk down the street feeling safe that I won't fall pray to open blatent bigotry. I need dignity. WE NEED EQUALITY!
I'm trying to do something about it.