Monday, January 2, 2017

The REAL reason I retired from porn

It's comedic how people will make up stories to add substance to news they hear and it was no different when I announced my retirement out of porn.  I had done so before in 2012 when I got into a relationship with a marine, but returned for 1 film and returned back to retired life.

Why people assume that when you retire it has to be because you did something wrong or because you can't handle it, isn't always the case.  Even worse is when they attach a stigma that you caught something so you were forced to leave the industry.  Then there is the fact that because you got into a relationship you had to quite.  That is FAR from the truth.

The reason I left porn?  Let me COUNT the reasons.

Reason Number 1:  It wasn't for me!

Believe it or not, I wasn't the nasty slut everyone wanted me to be or the fans expected me to be.  I was playing one on tv, but in my personal life I am a 1 man kind of lady who although, I like to explore in the bedroom... wasn't the cum guzzling, dick swapping, bare back freak they cameras wanted to film.  I don't judge those who are into it, but it just wasn't me - EVER!

The toll playing this role had on me didn't ruin me, but it certainly had it's mark on my life.  I am not the kind of woman who just meets someone and immediate says "Hey let's fuck!"  I wanted to shoot more films that were like real life scenarios and true attraction between people who really DID want to fuck each other!  In porn, you most often find out who you are fucking minutes before you get on set.  Often times, you don't even KNOW who the person is!

Reason Number 2:  The Lack of proper hygiene & personal care

Maybe because I was in the BBW genre or amateur or both, the lack of personal care and hygiene was surprising to me,  I have never seen so many grown adults NOT take care of themselves properly.  I mean, come on... THIS IS YOUR JOB.  How do you expect me to take you seriously when you clearly don't take yourself serious?  There are products available to assist with your ability to be clean and present yourself in such a fashion.

Reason Number 3:  The Lack of testing and/or use of condoms both ON SET & OFF SET

Your personal life is yours to enjoy and I understand you want to have fun.  However, when your personal habits put your professional life at risk by not being regularly tested and not using condoms, that is a problem.  After the things I saw both behind the scenes and on camera, I just knew that this wasn't for me.  The risk is far too high and the reward not worth risking my life.  You can KEEP it.

Although, I have argued MANY times that adult performers DO get tested more than civilians and are more LIKELY to use condoms, that doesn't mean it's true for EVERY situation.  I am speaking on behalf of a small isolated number of incidents I was witness to.

Reason Number 4:  Fetish pays better.

Let's face it.  The risk outweighed the reward.  I make more money on fetish footage than I did with hardcore porn scenes.  The cost to make the hardcore was also a huge factor.  Between testing, location, travel, male talent, vidographer, editing, and more it just doesn't make sense for me.  Good business is removing the pieces of the business that don't make money but require a lot of overhead.

Reason Number 5:  My talents are behind the scenes.

I think it's self explanatory to say that I am more a nerdy girl anyways and that I belong behind the scenes.

And that my friends, is why I left porn.

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